Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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