Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
