i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
