with your own penis?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
