have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
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So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.