He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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