I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i think i just lost a toe
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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