I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
