You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The feeling are messing with the penis
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
