office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
