Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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