dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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