so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
