ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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