I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
