God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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