I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
