I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
