Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
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The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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