so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
