I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
