I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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