Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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