FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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