Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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