my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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