oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
