I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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