He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
