Sry I called you an 8
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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