I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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