I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize