Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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