Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
