Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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