Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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