your thong is hanging out like whoa
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
