Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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