Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i now understand why vodka
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
