im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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