Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
