I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
