Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...