...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
