I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.