I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
