Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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