If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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