After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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