sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
...so i touched it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
