His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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