I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All the doctor said was why
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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