Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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