Your dad touched me again.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
