Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
