Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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