It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize