Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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