Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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