3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize