just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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