I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
